Friday, January 29, 2016

YOU KNOW THIS ONE

Me and Myself
have been dating
forever.

Me and Myself
definitely
could talk more.

Me
and Myself
used to be reality show roommates
on a show
that never aired.

People say—
Me
and
Myself are rarely seen together in public.

But they're crazy.

Me and My-
self are really in-sync
as ballroom dance partners
and super on-task as business co-owners;

and yet, admittedly
still lousy
at living together.

E.g.—Myself
is always forgetting
to pick Me up
from places (Myself is a liar. He goes to church still sometimes

instead of the gym
on Sunday mornings
and doesn't leave right after communion
like he promises).

And while Me and Myself still eat the same dinner,
its never
the same amount, and almost-never
at the same time
as each other anymore.

Me and Myself are admirably compatible
vacation-planners though.
Although, rarely so much—
as vacation-going goes.

See, Myself—doesn't really like
surfing or swimming or volleyball
or beaches at all,
or anything that happens there,
like luaus,
or barbecues,
or sunsets,
or the gritty uncomfortable ways
we imagine some uncouth
people like to fuck on their shores.

Me
is into that stuff. He likes
80's movies and kite flying and running fast.
He likes heights, and he doesn't mind jumping from them.

Myself
is funny, but only in-private, "once you
get to know him;" he's interested in the fonts people use,
and quoting movies more than watching them,
and playing video games he already knows how to beat.

It's routine for him, but other people "just don't know
how he does it!" Which is one of the only things, as Me knows
all too well, that brings Myself any real satisfaction these days.