for fate or
inspiration
to restart
and update my
operating system,
I keep looping
to comb through the
honed decay
of all the same old
fossilized streets—
though,
at this point,
I'm no longer
searching for something;
I'm just strictly
rehearsing (in hopes
I can memorize)
the feeling
of finding precisely
what I need there.
That way, if I ever
came across
the motivation
to stop repeating
hurts and claim the
mercy I'm so hungry for,
I would find myself
so nimble and
well-prepared
that I could blithely
walk right by it, like I
didn't even care.